Tagged: Debt depression
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Hello all
I have been on this forum before and have a thread with way more details but I’ll recap. I’ve been a gambling addict for as long as I can remember. I was always someone who was up and down but never in unmanageable debt. That all changed super quickly when someone super close to me committed suicide and basically flipped my world upside down. I turned to gambling as my way out of the world, sadly I didn’t care if I completely buried myself in debt. I actually didn’t care about anything anymore and was suffering from depression and was just lost as a person.
After what I thought was rock bottom of being 55,000 in debt I started going to GA and getting help and was able to put together about 9 months of clean time. The sad thing with this addiction is when you think your doing better it creeps it’s way back in telling you seductively it will be so much better this time. I slowly started placing sports bets again, and before I know it I was all I could think about and do again. The real sad thing is when I have control over it I make money sports betting, I would bring myself to pretty much even playing online. Then the compulsive gambler in me starts betting on everything and anything to get that rush. Before I know it I would be out of fund and back to racking up credit.
Over the course of my gambling career I wouldn’t be surprised if I have lost 250-500,000 dollars.
As I sit today I have a huge amount of debt that is weighing on me all the time. That being said I am 83 days gamble free. I work my recovery everyday and that’s something I didn’t do before. I just thought my will power would do it. Everyday I read on forums and listen to podcasts to remind myself I don’t want to be back. It’s crazy because when I am clean my life is so happy, even with the amount of debt I am in. I am fortunate to make 6 figures and am still in my 20s. I really need to focus on moving forward instead of dreading what I have done. If I keep that life up I will never have a future and chances are I would be dead.
Thanks for all those that have read this.
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Day 84 clean.
Well today is day 84 and it’s amazing how putting days together feels great. I had a horribly challenging day today at work, the old me would gamble as a reward for a crap day. Crazy how the addicted mind works. I’m going to attend a zoom GA meeting instead. Keep strong and focused everyone!
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Well today is 3 months.
It’s a strange feeling, I am happy in one way but I have also been here many times before. The first time I remember it like I just won a big race or something, like I was an amazing being. To be honest this time I won’t be celebrating it, I am happy for myself but I need to put together 3 years and I can talk about being proud. I am going to be attending a GA meeting tonight because I need it to keep pushing further and not get complacent like I have before.
Stay strong everyone:)
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Congratulations on 3 months. Keep being positive and pushing forward.
I know how you feel about being able to win at sports betting but eventually just giving it all back when the compulsive comes out.I will be checking in often. Staying focused on taking this one day at a time.
Be well!
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Day 99
I’ve been kinda stagnant lately and have had a lot of free time. I’m having a hard time being super productive, that being said I haven’t gambled. I really hope the world goes back to some normalcy. I really want to be able to attend a GA meeting in person. This pandemic just makes things wayyyyy harder and I feel for people that don’t have a support system, I am super lucky I have a great family in my corner.
Thanks everyone for reading!
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Passing 4 months and 11 days.
The past while has been really challenging in my life with work and relationships. The thing that I feel happy about is I haven’t even really thought about gambling as an escape. I know that it won’t help me any way and just make everything I have going on way worse.
I have a huge load of debt still but I’m slowly chipping away at it. It actually feels really good seeing the number go down and start to save money for a rainy day. I even have money set aside for a holiday, can’t wait where as before I would plan a holiday and when the time came I wouldn’t have money to be able to do it and have to cancel with some bullshit reason.
Cheers everyone wishing you all a good 24 hrs and keep on moving day by day.
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4 months and 22 days
I am feeling great and just wanted to check in. I’m in touch with my feelings. My crazy attitudes are not around due to my mood swings from gambling. Life has so much potential, I have been working like crazy and paying down my debt. I still have a huge amount to go but am able to save and slowly bring down the debt. I have an end in sight, as I write this I am completely happy. Not sitting in the past beating myself up but instead moving forward day by day to a better life.
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Well doen on your gamble free time badsportsbettor, keep doing the thigns that are working for you.
Orlov I hope you start your own thread and tell us the positive steps you are taking to help your own recovery. GA helps many of course, you will see an agnostic version of those 12 steps in the Recovery Tools Forum. I hope that professional help gives your recovey a kick start. Professional help though does tend to be finite though, whethr that is counselling, therapy or some form of residential support. I hope you then find some sort of ongoing support – whther that is GA, a forum or something else, to help you maintain your recovery. This is Badsportspettors thread though so I hope you start your own where you can post about your own situation.
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Orlov
Not sure why you would even join these forums if your just trying to slander and bring people down. I hope you find your way and become gamble free but also a better person.
As far as this being hopeless I am 9 days away from being 6 months gamble free. In that time I have paid down about 15 I of my debt well still being able to save and even go on a great 11 day vacation.
Yea GA maybe isn’t for everyone but I know it helps people that actually give in and accept problems and face them. I have been doing that and going to therapy. Being open and honest and I am becoming free from this terrible monster. I feel great and will continue to work this beast because if I don’t it will come back.
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Gunna keep this short.
Today I am 6 months gamble free! I feel great to be honest, not having that type of stress on my shoulders. That being said I have had some thoughts about it and need to remember I can’t let my guard down this time. I will be attending a meeting soon because truth is I need to.
Keep on pushing everyone, we can do this.
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6 months and 9 days gamble free
I went to a meeting last Wednesday and it was exactly what I needed. It’s been way to long since I have gone and I felt so welcomed by everyone that I haven’t seen in a while. I am feeling strong and confident. My mind is clear and my relationship is great. My mind is focused on work and I’m killing it!
Keep going everyone we got this!
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Tomorrow will mark 7 months gamble free for me. Pretty happy with that amount of time, things are really going good for me. I was even just away at work and my hotel was right beside the casino. I looked at the place wi the disgust and didn’t even consider it. I was pretty happy with that, instead after work I worked out or relaxed. It felt great.
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Today is the 11 month mark! Things are as good as they can be. No roller coaster of emotions. Slowly digging out of my debt mess. I have been able to go on vacations and am never late on payments. I am able to treat my gf to the things she deserves like nice meals and help on payments. Life is good, one day at a time!
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