[Mow16]

Will it ever go away!!! 

Hi, 

My wife and I have been together for 10 years, and have 2 beautiful babies and they are everything and more to me! 

It all started 5 years ago when I started to gamble, at first it was a little bit of fun but then it all spiralled way out of control, I was borrowing money from all payday lenders etc  to fund the habit. 

I was in way over my head and had a total debt nearing 20k.

It all come to a stop once my wife found out, I had broken her and her trust because I was stupid enough to burry my head in the sand hoping for that next win to get me through, I lied and lied through my teeth on many occasions to hide what I had done. It was so so painful and I knew I had lost them and her until I could control the demon in my head. She helped me through this and we sat down and sorted all the finances, I contacted gam care and started counselling sessions. 

I have never been a person to share my problems with anyone and I have never really been a talker at all but this really helped me through and try to understand what and why I was doing what I was doing. 

I got my life straight and my loving wife gave me another chance! 

Fast forward 3/4 years and my life was amazing, me and my wife have never been in a better place, until BANG it all starts again. 

I started lying again, started hiding things and yep you guessed it placed a bet. 

This then turned into a few and ￡700 later another payday loan. 

What is wrong with me ?? I have everything I ever want in life and I choose to throw that all away because the demon is back!!

Have I lost my wife forever now? How can she ever trust me ever again? Why have I done this and WHY did I not seek help before it’s too late. 

My wife asks – after last time why do it? You nearly lost us then! Are we not enough for you? 

Why not speak to me when you feel the urge? 

I have no answers for her I really don’t! 

I can’t explain it to her 

Sent from my iPhone

[lizbeth4]

Hi Mow16. Welcome to GT! You need to start over again. Relapse is common for us. Do you think you can put more barriers in place? Can you seek more counseling? This is a horrible addiction that destroys everything. Keep talking to your Wife. Keep posting here and reading others threads. We are here for each other. Don’t give up!

[i-did-it]

HI Mow,
I’m not sure why we do it – it is an addiction I guess which we will carry forever. Lizbeth makes some good points- the most important thing now is to stop and stay stopped. You have done it before – maybe you need to hand control of all money over to your wife?

I guess we need to stop looking back- if we think it’s too late then it is easy to think why bother, or to attempt to win back.
Let the losses go.
It is not to late.
In fact today is a great day to put everything in place that you need to.

Accept what is gone Mow and look to a great gamble free future.

[Steev]

It sounds like it is not just you that needs to talk but also your wife. You didn’t mention if she had any support or counseling when you first stopped gambling, but it would help both of you if you tackled this together. There are support groups and a forum here for family members or Gamanon.

From your OP it sounds like your lying and hiding came before your gambling – is this right? If so was there a trigger for you getting sucked back in? Can you go back into counseling to look at these things as it was so helpful last time. I wish you well.

[dunc]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you ??

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

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