Hello Jarvisja and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you ??

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

Hi Jarvis, well done on looking for help. Read the other stories here and you will see that you are not alone with this problem. You will also read the success stories, what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?

It sounds like your mum will have heard the “never again” promises in the past, what can you do differently this time? How about putting this in place before next payday so that your wages go directly to your mum? We all know that when we lose our money we can’t gamble, use that knowledge moving forward.

Barriers like that are a great help in the early days especially.

Keep posting and let us know the positive steps that you are taking.

Your time and your money will never be your own for as long as you choose to gamble.
There is no such thing as “controlled gambling” for a compulsive gambler. Once we cross that line, it’s all or nothing from now on. That’s the difference between “gambling” and “compulsive gambling” Once we start we cannot stop.
The only way to beat the problem is not to start…..
Well done on seeking help.

Jarvis,

I am rooting for you.

The long journey towards a healthy, gamble-free life has just begun for me. The first and hardest step is to realize that we need help. If we want to quit, it is crucial that we give up control of our money. This does not make you less of a man. In fact, squaring up to your problems and facing them head on encompasses many characteristics that I would define as manly, such as bravery, being steadfast, etc.

I hope to see you more on here.

-brendan

Hi Jarvisja

This subject was taken from your post on 15 Oct 2016.

Do you believe that a compulsive gambler or you can never gamble like a normal person?

How many times more are you going to try to gamble and prove that you can stop gambling after you have started gambling?

When you found out that you can regain the strength to stop gambling and walk away from your first gamble after a period of total abstinent, you may start to think that it is safe to return back to gambling, this feeling is very risky and dangerous for everyone of us, you may return back to gambling, and soon it will return you back to where you first started. You will discover that you are powerless over gambling and your life has become unmanageable again.

You can find many answers when you visit the GA meeting near you.

Now there is the thing. You CAN stop. What you can’t do is to carry on gambling with any sort of “control.”

Take a look at the 20 questions on the GA website. Take a look at the other stories here. If any of us could gamble “normally” then we wouldn’t be here.
Basically you have to decide your own answer to two questions…..

First, is what you like/love about gambling worht the chit that comes with it? Coz we can’t have one without the other.

Second, are you ready to take some of the steps that will help you stop now? Or later when youa re deeper in said chit.

I hope you have the right answers to those questions or you might be in for a whole lot more pain.

Keep posting, maybe let us know how you score with those 20 questions.

Very sorry to hear that.
Admitting we are powerless over gambling is the first step to recovery.
Gambling ruins lives.
You CAN stop….

what would you do with a big win?
I can tell you…
you would lose every cent because CGs N E V E R win
That is the meaning of CG
When we have money we can’t stop gambling
The only real hope you have is to break the cycle
Just stop for an hour, then a day…try it!

Great!
You have discovered your solution!
Don’t handle money!
Lot’s of CG don’t, to avoid throwing it all away over and over and over.

great post, Vera. I know that it has been effective solution for me.

Rooting for you Jarvish. Some great advice in here.

If you stop then what? Well if you put the same time and effort into life as you do into gambling then the possibilities will be pretty much endless. Sh*t low paid job? Well that can change. One thing you can do straight away though is give yourself the biggest payrise you will ever have – stop gambling!

Another question of course is – carry on gambling and then wat? Because thigns wont stay like they are now, it is a progresssive problem so it gets gradually worse. As Vera rightly said, any wins are gambled back anyway.

As you say – no money = no gambling, now use that knowledge.

You have got some great advice here already, now though you still have to ask yourself those two questions I asked before.

Keep posting.

No money=no gambling. This has worked for me. Have someone control your money and cards for you. Live on a allotted amount of money. I know it is hard for most people to give up that control but it does work!!!! Anything to help us!!! The opportunities for you are endless (jobs, ect..) if you put barriers in place. I am in your corner and rooting for you!!! Stay strong!