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Online Slots Took Over My Life

neveragainslots — Fri, 14 Jun 2024 08:41:44 +0000

So…Finally I am here. writing about my story. Online gambling has completetly taken over. It all started 2 years ago and I have played everyday since then. Starting with the small bets and increasing everyday. Think today I have lost $20000, just by tring to win back my loses. I got a good job which allows me to keep playing. but I dont want to. But somehow I cannot stop? why? I always know I get the money back from my job. But if I just saved it and didnt play I would have so much?

Hopefully I did my last bet today. Will keep writing in this thread everyday and keep you guys updated to try to distract my self from gambling. Have blocked my self everywhere now. Make this nightmare end.

Please if you got some tips let me know.

I am totally done with this gambling word. Time to get free. I am 27 years old. Its not to late i tell my self. So I really hope I stop this time.

Honestly. I am here to just write out my feelings. I have told noone about my problems so this is kinda a good feeling to write out some of them.

Thank you

The post Online Slots Took Over My Life appeared first on Gambling Therapy.

Lost Man

ndbaba — Mon, 08 Apr 2024 08:25:59 +0000

Hi all,
I am 39years old man that has been addicted to gambling for almost 20years and it has ruined my life.
I am currently based in Qatar but have a young wife and daughter back home.
My finances are at the lowest ebb and I want to know if I can overcome my challenges.
I am brilliant and innovative but gambling has damaged me.
I cry and make promises but no improvement.
If my wife finds out, I could lose her.
I want to be a good man for my young family

The post Lost Man appeared first on Gambling Therapy.

Back to hell

housedd — Fri, 26 May 2023 15:09:45 +0000

Hey there everyone.
Its been a while since i wrote here.I am a compulsive gambler.Iv been in this state for almost 4 full years.Last time i wrote here was last year whem i stopped gambling and said thats it,i cant do this anymore.And i was good for 4 months,i started to feel better and to enjoy life more,i was feeling that life is coming back slowly.Yes,i had thoughts about it but somehow i managed to keep this urge away by doing some stuff that i like.There were days with bad mood swings when i would cry in the morning and be happy in the evening and vice versa.Breaking point came when my girlfriend broke up with me after 3 years of being together.Thats where my world crushed completely.I was in debt,i lost person that i love the most,and i was supposed to leave to another coutry to work in with debt without any support and with this addiction.I just had this feeling that im alone,but i know its all my fault,im doing this to myself and to my loved ones.To be honest with all of you that are reading this,iv never felt more lonely in my life,it feels like all the problems caught up with me.
Im in UK now,im working,im paying back debt i made,i was gambling occassionaly making excuses that its not a lot of money but i was really not free.
Today i relapsed again,spending 400 euros in 30 mins.After doing this i was juSt laying in the bed looking at the wall for 2 hours,i dont even know how to explain that feeling to someone,one thing i know,i want to stop and be person i was before all of this,happy,cheerful and sane.I know i will never be the same after gambling,but i know one thing.I will try my hardest to not gamble anymore.
This is my first day.

The post Back to hell appeared first on Gambling Therapy.

I’ve ruined my life for myself and my family… without them knowing

ashamedofmyself — Sat, 16 Jul 2022 22:06:45 +0000

Hello everyone! This is my first time on any kind of therapy and/or consulting website. Reading others stories helped me feel like there is hope for me too.

My story started less than a year ago when I was casually browsing Twitch and stumbled upon Slots streamers. Not knowing what it was, I opened and saw one streamers overlay saying that he had deposited $150,000 today and while I was watching him play, I saw he cashed out nearly $4,000,000… Seeing that number, something clicked in my brain. I wanted to see if I could do the same thing.

During that moment, I had $10,000+ in my savings account and $5000 in my crypto investments. Salary that allowed me and my family to live a very happy life. Some say people gamble because of pain but for me, I was happy. I was a new dad to the most beautiful kid in the world. Happily married to the most caring wife I could ever hope for.

I deposited $200 on one of the crypto websites and really enjoyed my time there. Didn’t have any gambling addictions or anything. I honestly deposited because how much joy I was getting from spinning and discovering all these cool mechanics and beautiful artwork.

After depositing closer to $1200, I realized that something is wrong and I should probably leave the website and close this chapter in my life. At that time I actually managed to win $1200 back and it was perfect time to quit… I request a withdrawal but the crypto I had was going through maintenance and withdrawals weren’t possible. Instead of waiting for that maintenance to pass, I went back to gambling and lost it all.

Any smart person at this point would just quit and leave but I was afraid… Afraid of something so ridiculous that some of you might think I’m stupid (and I wouldn’t argue back). I was afraid that my dad would ask me about my savings (that he tends to ask quite often to see if I’m surviving fine in my adult married life) and I’d end up lying to him and then one day when we’d sit down to check it, he’d see my lies. I was afraid of being judged by my parents.. People who have trusted in me my whole life. I was afraid they’d think I’m a terrible head of the family for doing something so stupid when I just recently had a kid and I’m the only person working in the family.

Because of this fear, I went back to gambling.. I wanted to win my losses back and I was telling myself that I’ve been able to win a lot in the past so surely I can do that again.. That got me into losing my savings + crypto which was roughly $15,000.

At that time I discovered how easy it was to take loans with my income and took first $2,500 loan, then another $2,500, then $5,000 and eventually another $5,000. Now I was $15,000 in debt and $15,000 of my own money lost. Roughly $30,000 lost in about 3-5 months.

Shortly after such a bad loss streak, I managed to win $12,000 back and paid $7,000 of my debt back and kept $5,000 in crypto savings hoping that it would go up 2-3x and I’d be out of debt. Took my family on a nice mini spa vacation with the wins as I realized that I’ve missed nearly 5 months of my kids life.. I wasn’t there when my wife needed me… I wasn’t there to enjoy my baby’s new interactions how she was discovering the world. I wanted to fix that with my mini vacation.

Now that I only had $8,000 debt left with a monthly payments of $150, I was happy again for the first time in a while. I made a promise to myself that I will not let my gambling addiction I’ve acquired in a few months ruin me or my time with my kid. I self excluded myself from the casino and life was good for a short period of time.

After some time had passed, I went back to gambling on a new website thinking that I’ll just do a few small deposits to keep it interesting for myself at nights when everyone is sleeping and I have some extra time. This was probably the worst decision I’ve made during my life.

Very quickly I managed to lose that $7,000 that I had paid back to cover my debt and lost a lot more. I racked up $40,000 debt.
With everything combined now I was $55,000 deep and no light at the end of the tunnel.

A lot of dark thoughts came to my mind but I always said to myself that “don’t do anything stupid… Taking an easy way out will make your family suffer the most. I can’t leave my beautiful kid to grow without his dad.” So I never did anything but thoughts stayed in my head and they are still there…

During all this time, no one knew about my dark gambling addiction and I was too afraid to share it with anyone. I was again afraid that I’d be labeled as the worst dad/husband on the planet and afraid that my wife could leave me and take our kid with her. Which again I wouldn’t blame her for but I don’t want to lose her or my kid. They mean the world to me and I love them very much.

Last week happened something that I will be ashamed for the rest of my life.. It was my wife’s birthday and I opened my bank account to see that I only have $200 left. Making me panic and think what the …. have I done… How did I end up in a situation where I’m not even able to take my wife for a nice dinner on her birthday because I need to save the money to buy groceries next week..

Today I sat down to do some calculations on my debt and I realized that I’ve racked up nearly $1000 in a monthly debt for next 10+ years due to ridiculously high interest rates.. I realized that for next 10 years, I will not be able to save even $1 with my current salary because everything will go back to paying the debt… I’m not going to be able to buy fancy new toys or clothes for my kid… I will not be able to take my family even on cheap vacations.. My life is ruined for minimum of 10 years and I do not know what to do.

I thought about an easy way out again so my wife could sell the house, pay my debt and live her life without a terrible husband like me but I will not do it, I promise. That would just traumatize my wife and kid for life.

I closed all my casino accounts today and for the first time ever, I’m seeking help. My life is a mess, I see no way out and I’m hoping to find motivation from this website.

Please let me know how you fought your addiction. Please tell me what you did to make extra money to pay your debts… I’m already working 40 hours a week and I don’t want to take a second job and completely miss my kids childhood ?? Please motivate me to stay here with my wife and kid… Please tell me that my future will be better and I will be able to enjoy life with my family…

Telling my wife about my addiction is unfortunately not an option.. I know it might help me out and she might not judge me if she truly loves me but thats not the risk I’m willing to take. I’m not willing to lose my wife/kid… I just need to find a way to hide my debt and addiction for next 10 years ??

The post I’ve ruined my life for myself and my family… without them knowing appeared first on Gambling Therapy.

From Impactful Winnings to Crazy Debts

ajgamba — Mon, 13 Dec 2021 15:08:14 +0000

boy oh boy.. 2020 started off crazy for me. well for all of us.
a little about me before i get into the nitty gritty.
I’m a 24 year old from Ukraine, with a gambling addiction. I’m not from any rich background, and i freelance as a developer.
I always thought in moments of regret, why I gamble, and why I’m pushing myself into a hole of dept at such an age, and I always seem to have the same answer, loneliness and boredom. not to mention online influencers.
i started off gambling in the start of 2020 on an online casino, gambling around the 2-3$ mark. it was just tasteful fun and experience, that didn’t really have any impact on me financially. One day i hit a jackpot with 2$ and cashed out 1000$. it took mere seconds for the to happen.. i believe that’s were i got hooked. yeah, i still work the same job as i did in 2020 but I make a bit more. but just for context, I don’t gamble with 2-3$ anymore, the minimum bet i toss into online slots or roulettes is around the 100-400$ per bet. so sometimes i end up spending 1-3k$ per day. every month i have a dept to close. but every now and then i hit small jackpots giving me hope that someday I’ll hit a big one which might secure something in my future.
this.. mental strain and depression is really getting to me. I’m writing this after losing 5k$ today taken from my savings account. Trying to make back last month’s lost money. instead burying myself in deeper dept. the scariest thing about all this, is how well aware i am of the grave mistakes I’m doing and how i keep doing them despite this fact.

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