Jolibet app download.Makakuha ng libreng 700pho sa bawat deposito https://www.gettogethablog.com/forum/topic-tag/mustafa/ Providing online help for problem gamblers Thu, 08 Jun 2023 20:01:19 +0000 zh-TW hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7 https://www.gettogethablog.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/cropped-gm-icon-32x32.png mustafa - Gambling Therapy https://www.gettogethablog.com/forum/topic-tag/mustafa/ 32 32 My Friend of Misery and eternal struggle. https://www.gettogethablog.com/zh-hant/forum/topic/my-friend-of-misery-and-eternal-struggle/ Thu, 08 Jun 2023 20:01:19 +0000 https://www.gettogethablog.com/?post_type=topic&p=177476 Here I go. First step to achieve something I didn’ […]

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]]> Here I go. First step to achieve something I didn’t even consider achievable. Hey, I didn’t want to achieve it in the first place. My name is Mustafa and I’ve been seeing a therapist for almost a year and it opened my eyes greatly but we always talked about other problems in my life because they seemed more urgent and maybe they are but now I realize that gambling is a very, very, very big demon in my life that feeds on my anxiety, my childhood traumas, my big struggle to escape this world and the home I grew up in. He came to me when I was 18 years old (33 now – wow 15 years of betting huh, even typing it down feels weird) and I got hooked instantl.

We’ve been getting along so well for a so long time. It gave me euphoria, something to do, something to cheer on, something that makes me proud of myself because it looked like I’m doing something with my life which is a ironic thing because the thing I’ve been doing is just the opposite of it which is actually destroying my life. But I did not feel that or in a awkward way because my life was already semi-broken in many ways. I felt guilt, shame, undervalued, feeling bad because not being a religious person. So when I saw this demon, it looked very familiar, very friendly thing. Even didn’t think about it, I just gladly accepted it because it reminded me something deep down I think. Even today I do not know what it did remind me of something this deep and reflective. Still trying to figure it out. So we became best friends in a very short time. We shared a home, we shared a room, we shared a bed, we shared partners and friends. We did everyting together, even taking a shower. When I taking a shower, my eyes were always on the phone, waiting for a notification regarding my bets. But funny enough, we didn’t share the income I get. This demon was always making the juice out of it in first 5-10 days of the month and left me alone only to say “I’m hungry, find some money and feed me” 5 days later and I did what it asked because actually I liked this demon very much because it was just broken as me. We understood each other, we knew what we’ve been through is not something light and easy. He was my best friend for a long time, he didnt let me think my past, he didn’t let me be anxious about other people and stuff. He did lots of things for me.

But today I’ll try to say goodbye to this so called best friend who actually never cared for me or my emotions. It just saw a very nice, cozy, comfortable place to settle down and tricked me in such a way that I had no idea at all. The hardest part was realizing that there was actually no demon to blame at all. I did all of this, I made bad decisions and I own them. Today I’ll try to accept my mistakes and be peace at with myself.

Have a nice evening all.

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