[ken l]

Good Afternoon/Evening Folks
Was just in a session where the topic of dwelling on the past came up.My experience has been that it is important not to forget my gambling past but also important to remember not to stare at it.Hope this piece on dealing with the past helps anyone struggling with trying to let go and move on.Hope you all have a nice weekend.
Ken L GRCG

Peace with the Past

Even God cannot change the past.
–Agathon

Holding on to the past, either through guilt, longing, denial, or resentment, is a waste of valuable energy – energy that can be used to transform today and tomorrow.

"I used to live in my past," said one recovering woman. "I was either trying to change it, or I was letting it control me. Usually both.

"I constantly felt guilty about things that had happened. Things I had done; things others had done to me – even though I had made amends for most everything, the guilt ran deep. Everything was somehow my fault. I could never just let it go.

"I held on to anger for years, telling myself it was justified. I was in denial about a lot of things. Sometimes, I’d try to absolutely forget about my past, but I never really stopped and sorted through it; my past was like a dark cloud that followed me around, and I couldn’t shake clear of it. I guess I was scared to let it go, afraid of today, afraid of tomorrow.

I’ve been recovering now for years, and it has taken me almost as many years to gain the proper perspective on my past. I’m learning I can’t forget it; I need to heal from it. I need to feel and let go of any feelings I still have, especially anger.

"I need to stop blaming myself for painful events that took place, and trust that everything has happened on schedule, and truly all is okay. I’ve learned to stop regretting, and to start being grateful.

"When I think about the past, I thank God for the healing and the memory. If something occurs that needs an amend, I make it and am done with it. I’ve learned to look at my past with compassion for myself, trusting that my Higher Power was in control, even then.

"I’ve healed from some of the worst things that happened to me. I’ve made peace with myself about these issues, and I’ve learned that healing from some of these issues has enabled me to help others to heal too. I’m able to see how the worst things helped form my character and developed some of my finer points.

"I’ve even developed gratitude for my failed relationships because they have brought me to who and where I am today.

"What I’ve learned has been acceptance – without guilt, anger, blame, or shame. I’ve even had to learn to accept the years I spent feeling guilty, angry, shameful, and blaming."

We cannot control the past. But we can transform it by allowing ourselves to heal from it and by accepting it with love for others and ourselves. I know, because that woman is me.

Today, I will begin being grateful for my past. I cannot change what happened, but I can transform the past by owning my power, now, to accept, heal, and learn from it.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden

On the Power of Acceptance

When the world seems to be falling down around you, you can choose to fall down with it or you can choose a more positive path. Acceptance will put you on that positive path.
Fighting against negativity only produces more negativity. Yet when you accept what is, no matter how terrible and difficult it may be, you put yourself in a position to start changing it for the better.
Acceptance does not mean giving in or giving up. It means moving on, as in moving on ahead.
There is simply no point in fighting battles which have already been lost, nor is there any point in allowing the loss to continue to slow you down. The smart strategy is to accept it and then put all your energy toward a positive pursuit.
Acceptance does not mean allowing others to take advantage of you. It simply means that you look realistically at what has happened and allow yourself to see the positive opportunities that are most certainly there.
Once you accept what is, you are free to move positively forward. Once you quit fighting, you are free to start achieving.
— Ralph Marston
 

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